Friday, February 27, 2009

Aaaah TGIF!! :) And a busy day at that!!

Paul went to a computer auction - that aside from finding some possible cars for my sister, was a bust. Later today my sissy and the kids came over to hang out and eat pizza. :) Helped a ton with the frazzled nerves I'm having for tomorrows little "meet-up" with Brennan's real dad. A little background on him; we had dated since I was 15 all the way through High School. After high school we moved into a house together. In July of 1995 he proposed to me and happily accepted. In February of 1996 I became unexpectedly pregnant.....while Brennan's dad was not thrilled in the beginning, he eventually accepted the inevitable. However, by August of that same year, he decided he was neither interested in having a child and no longer did he love me. After that I moved home with my mother where I knew I was safe to birth and raise my son for however long I needed. The first 2 years of Brennan's life we talked, even entertained the possibilities of getting back together. That, however, was not something either of us ended up pursuing (thankfully, lol). He saw Brennan a handful of times, then disappeared.....shortly after I would meet my wonderful husband and we wouldn't hear anything from B's dad throughout the years, minus the strange phone call I received on Thanksgiving 2002 where he seemed as though he was more interested in finding out if I was happily married etc (a conversation I felt as though we were having strictly for the sake of finding out if he could get back together with me - UMM NO and how about NEVER! HA!). He spoked to me briefly then talked to B for 20 minutes. During which he promised B he would come see him at Christmas, that they would get to spend time together. Brennan got off the phone - he was elated. He was super excited that he was going to get to see his father....even though he knew Paul was his daddy...we've always told him about Lonnie knowing one day he would have questions and that we would be here to answer any and all of them when he was ready. Needless to say, B's dad never called again - EVER. And Brennan stopped asking about him from there on out....and Paul and I picked up the pieces of his broken heart.....

Fast forward to today, I had to contact him 3 weeks ago regarding a tax issue. He expressed that he "might" want to start talking to B again, could he have B's cell # - yada yada. Well, I was floored, for a lack of another descriptive word. I got off the phone with him and talked to Paul about how we should handle this. After many hours of conversations and some damn good advice from my daddy, we decided that we would give him one last chance to be a father, just so long as that meant B was happy and that there was ZERO chance he would get hurt again. So, that being the case, tomorrow we are meeting B's dad for lunch at a neutral location so we can go over the terms that Paul and I plan to set forth for any future relations that he may want to have with B. I know this is going to be a long road.....and man have I been praying for strength, wisdom and a kind tongue for tomorrow!! Wow....Im super nervous, I don't know how this is going to go - but Ive decided and plan to stick to my guns, this is going to be on OUR terms or no way at all. I will not be the one to have to look into those hazel eyes of Brennans and see the hurt that his father put him through last time he came and intentions are for B and B only.

So, as you say your nightly prayers tonight - please ask for wisdom, guidance and strength for both Paul and I. Tomorrow is going to be a trying day for the both of us....I suspect things will go well - but I also don't know how long B's father will continue to stay around and the thought of another let down for Brennan makes my stomach turn and my heart ache. So lets all pray that things go smoothly tomorrow, and that sometime in the near future B can get to know his genetic father!

Ill try to update tomorrow as soon as I calm my nerves after the fact, lol.......thanks all and Happy RUSSELL DAY!! hehehehe

The Nye5

1 comment:

  1. thoughts and prayers with you! From one Mother to another and from someone who loves all of the Nye Five deeply and dearly.